


The Sense of Him

by RiverOfFandoms



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angry Nathan, Arguing, Blackwell Academy, F/M, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hidden Feelings, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Nathan Prescott Has Feelings, Photo Shoots, Romantic Friendship, Sleepovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 23:31:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17192279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverOfFandoms/pseuds/RiverOfFandoms
Summary: You're hauled up in Nathan Prescott's dorm room past curfew where friendship must be resolved and feelings must be admitted.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you do not like Nathan Prescott, don't visit this & leave hateful comments just to be rude to me about writing for his character.

Your hair fell in front of your face, the water dripped off and soaked the carpet underneath you. Your hands shook at your sides with the chill that ran through your body from being completely and utterly drenched. Your bones creaked with exhaustion and the only thing you wanted to do was curl up inside your nice, warm bed.

Except somehow, you were standing in the middle of Nathan Prescott’s dorm room, soaked to the bone and shivering uncontrollably.

Nathan flicked the loose strands of his hair back, leaving droplets of water on his forehead. His eyes found yours in a flurry of emotions, “Quit shivering like that, you’re freaking me out.” He looked down at the crumpled bag by his feet, only just refraining from sighing loudly.

You tried to bite down your words but the distress from tonight only worsened your mood, “I can’t help it. I was just out in the middle of a heavy downpour of rain with some guy who has no consideration for me at—”

As you tried to finish your sentence, hoping to have at least pissed him off a little, he ditched a shirt followed by some sweats right at your face, cutting you off from the rest of your words. You looked at him emotionless, but he went right back to searching through his torn backpack.

You stared down at the clothes in your hands. Dry, warm clothes that would surely stop you from shaking yourself to death but… Nathan’s clothes. You weren’t sure how you felt about that. If you were going to subject yourself to anyone’s clothes, Nathan would be the last person on your list. Especially since how things have been going as of late. You and Nathan have been… not exactly friends but not strangers. Indifferent. There would be moments between you that felt different, but other days, most days, there was this distance just sitting there; you were never sure how to close the gap. Or if you even wanted to.

“Just get dressed already, before you flood my dorm room with all that water,” he said while rustling through his bag for something.

You sighed and walked away from Nathan to the opposite side of his room. It was dark, his light turned off since it was already way past curfew. You turned to face the wall, reconsidering getting undressed. But it was practically impossible to get back to the girls’ dorms without suspicion, for the time being. They started cracking down hard on curfew times because of a few recent “incidents”. Those incidents being jocks leaving Blackwell in the middle of the night to party up at the lighthouse, or that night when a couple of students broke into the pool.

“If you look, I’ll hit you. Got it?” You challenged and glanced behind you to his crouched position on the floor.

He huffed and ditched his bag out of frustration, it fell onto its side near his drawers. Nathan glanced over to you and noticed your frown. He rolled his eyes at you before leaning against the wall. “The fucking USB is gone.” He laughed, shaking his head, “I left it in the fucking woods.”

You widened your eyes but felt surprised by his calmness, or softer anger – than usual. Something like this would make him explosive. He would throw shit around the dorm or curse until the sun came up. But instead, he sat against the wall laughing.

“Nathan…”

“It’s whatever,” he muttered before he found your eyes again. They grew soft, kind, something unusual on a Prescott. Especially someone so fiery like Nathan.

“We can go back—”

Nathan shook his head, again cutting you off. “No point. We’d go crazy trying to find the fucking thing in the dark. Besides, it’s still raining.” He paused to stare up at the ceiling, the rain evident more than ever with its loud pattering against the dorm building roof. He glanced to you again, quiet for a moment. “You’re gonna die from hyperthermia if you don’t change your clothes.”

You picked up the clothes he threw at you again, “Will we go look in the morning?”

He nodded before he twisted around so he faced the wall he leant on only seconds ago. His hands clapped over his face, he looked oddly like a small boy afraid of being scolded. “Alright, I’m not looking.”

“Good.”

“Good for we’ll go find it tomorrow, or good I’m not looking?”

“Both.” You lifted your own wet shirt over your head, drops of water splattered over your skin and you shook even more as your bare skin touched the cool air of Nathan’s dorm. “ _Fuck_!” You cursed, and Nathan turned out of habit to see what was wrong. He yelped when he saw your naked torso, black bra and red face. You squealed as you met eyes, covering yourself with your wet shirt, “Nathan!”

“I thought something was wrong!” He argued as he turned back around, closing his eyes in a state of panic and embarrassment. “God, it’s not like I was trying to look at you on purpose.” He sighed, his head in his hands again, “Why’d you swear anyway? You never curse.”

You slipped on Nathan’s dry shirt, a graphic tee you’ve never seen before. “Cold.” You picked up his sweats and pulled them on, instantly feeling the cold begin to subside. You hung your wet clothes over the back of Nathan’s chair and he stood up from his spot on the floor when he noticed you moving around.

Nathan pulled off his own shirt, wet, and flung it onto the floor near his bed. You couldn’t help yourself and stared at his bare chest and toned stomach. You watched him pull on another shirt before he caught your eyes, “If I can’t look, you sure as hell can’t,” he said it fiercely, but you noticed the famous amused smirk on his lips.

You rolled your eyes before turning to face the window, blinds hung over the glass. A moment passed before you spoke up. “Sorry.”

“I was only joking a—”

“No, I mean…” You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. You kept your eyes on the blinds as you thought about what to say. “I’m sorry about today. About being an asshole. About ruining the photoshoot and complaining about the rain.” You breathed out again, like it expelled all the stress from inside you. “And now the USB is missing—”

“It’s not your fault,” he said, the rustling of his pants being pulled on. He walked over to his bag, picked it up and set it down on his bed, not caring about its dampness.

“Not my fault?” You turned around, noticing the way Nathan’s shirt hung off him, his loose sweatpants on his hips. “I…” You shook your head, swallowing, “If I hadn’t been so—so _incompetent_ we wouldn’t have been there so late, and it wouldn’t have been so dark when we got back to the car. The rain wouldn’t have been so heavy. You wouldn’t have lost all of the other photos… I wouldn’t have to haul up in your room.” You wiped your forehead and suddenly felt the pressure of the day well up inside. “I’ve been an annoyance all day.”

Nathan, who’d been watching you while you made your spiel with some kind of curiosity, only shook his head. The strands of his hair that always fell loose over his forehead resumed their place again, making his hair look like a mess. “You haven’t been an annoyance, Y/N.” He waited for a response, but you couldn’t give him one. “I didn’t mind the rain… and… you here in my dorm room,” he paused, looking at his hands, “it’s not so bad.” Thunder rumbled off in the distance and it made him look up at you again. “Right?”

You sat down on the floor and pulled your knees up to your chest. Your hair still draped over your shoulders, wet. “It’s not so bad.”

He rummaged through a pile of stuff by the end of his bed and pulled out a dry towel. He flung it towards you, again without no warning, so you almost missed it. You began to dry your hair as much as possible with it. “Thanks,” you muttered.

The light of the moon outside cast odd shadows throughout Nathan’s room and the silence that stilled between you only complemented it. It seemed as though time stood still in his dorm room. Maybe it did. Maybe it would feel like a century had passed by the time the sun rose the next morning. You thought about getting up and bidding him goodnight. Sneak back to your own room in the dead of night. But something about his room, something about Nathan made you want to stay.

You caught Nathan’s eyes again and shook your head, “Why can’t you just be mad at me?”

He raised his eyebrows, “Well, that’s a first.” Nathan slowly set himself onto the floor opposite you and leant his back against his bed. A flash of lightning illuminated the room for just a moment, you saw his features bright. “Usually you get you pissed when I’m mad.”

“I do not.” You frowned, arms crossed over your chest in a huff of frustration.

He only held your eyes, all-knowing. Of course, you got mad at him when he was angry, you hated seeing him pissed off because he’d close up into himself instead of talking it out with you, or he’d go blaze it up in his room all day and stay in bed. “You do.” He stated matter-of-fact.

You frustratingly threw a hand up in defeat, “Fine! Maybe I do.” You glanced at the carpet and refused to look him in the eyes, “You never get mad at _me_ though, even when I deserve it.” When there was silence, you met his eyes again. You watched as he said nothing, just stared at you, you couldn’t tell what he was feeling, in the dark. “Like today.”

“You want me to get mad at you?”

“I’m a shitty friend.”

He stopped himself from replying too quickly and scoffed. He shook his head and edged closer to you, “What are you on about? You’re not a shitty friend.”

“Am I even a friend?” You questioned, your heart beating faster as you said those words. You remembered back to before, back to those days when you two wouldn’t speak at all or even look each other in the eye. Sometimes it would be more than days, sometimes a week would pass. And then he’d call you up for a spontaneous photoshoot and you’d both acted as if you hadn’t just spent those weeks avoiding each other.

He sat back a little, defeated. But he kept his eyes on yours. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” His face moved in the darkness and a strip of moonlight washed over him, you could see that he was hurt, and it surprised you. “You don’t think of me as your friend?”

“What?” You said loudly, in disbelief. “No, Nathan, no… that’s not what I meant,” you stumbled. “I meant… sometimes I don’t know if _you_ think of me as a friend or just… some one else at school. Someone else that you meet up with occasionally to take photos of.”

He frowned, hard. Licking his lips, he tried his best to not stumble over his words, “You’re… you really don’t know, do you?” He said those words clearly, each slow, as if he was truly surprised.

But you only frowned at him, unsure of what he meant. “Of course, I don’t know. Some days you don’t even talk to me at all. I’m sorry for asking you if I’m your friend, I know it seems lame, but I need that reassurance otherwise—”

“You’re an idiot,” he said, looking at you dumbly; wide-eyed, surprised. “You really are an idiot.”

“Nathan—”

“No, you are,” he said, and crouched on his heels. He stared at you a moment. It almost felt as if that moment went on forever. You kept staring at him, even when he crawled over to you. You just watched with confusion, utterly oblivious. He stopped crawling once he was right in front of you, sat on the carpet. You were nervous at how close he was to you.

“Don’t call me an idiot,” you whispered, eyes darting nervously across his face. You were never this close to him unless he was taking a photo, which meant there was always a camera between the pair of you, so it never really felt like he was close. But now there wasn’t. You could smell the rain on him, the dampness, and the usual Nathan Smell that just came with him mixed with the leftovers of cologne that the rain didn’t wash away. You still saw droplets of water on his cheeks from his hair, the almost invisible freckles that you never saw from further away; his eyes washed in the moonlight. There was another low rumble of thunder, but it sounded significantly closer.

He shook his head slowly, “I just… thought you knew.”

“Knew?”

He smiled, soft, something you rarely ever see on Nathan’s face. “That…” He sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time, and he was nervous. You saw it in his eyes. “I… you know?” He was almost frustrated that he couldn’t just say it.

You only shook your head, slightly, but somehow, somewhere deep inside, you knew what he meant. You just couldn’t believe it to be true, until he said it. Until he said those exact words.

“I love you.” There was another flash of lightning and it lit up Nathan’s face as he said it, as he uttered those words to you. You saw, in his blue eyes, that he meant it.

Your heart hammered in your chest when you heard his words. No one had ever said they loved you before, not in this way. And from Nathan, the guy you tried your best to ignore your feelings for because you had convinced yourself that he’d never feel the same way; because he was a lonely Prescott boy whose heart was too troubled; because everyone told you that he only loved himself. But God, if you knew one thing, it was that Nathan never really loved himself.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You said, your voice still hushed; like if you spoke too loudly this would all just fizzle away, like how a dream would disappear in the early hours of the morning.

He didn’t move away from you, but shrugged, “I just did.”

You swallowed. “I… why did you think I knew?”

“I thought it was obvious.” He glanced at the carpet, “I mean, I…” He swallowed and continued more quietly, “I feel different around you. There’s not a lot of people that I can stand, you know.” He looked at you with something new in his eyes, you weren’t sure if it was because of what you knew now or… “I always think about you, I always want to be around you.”

“But there are times when you don’t want to be around me at all…”

He stopped short, looking nervous, he ran a hand through his damp hair. “I know…” He sighed, his eyes shifted, “There are days when I can’t be around anyone. I don’t want you to see me… when things are bad.”

You reached for his hand in an instant, unexpected intimacy but comforting all the same. “Nathan…” Your hand left his and touched his face instead, “You can always be around me, even on the bad days. Especially on the bad days.”

He looked at you as if surprised by your reply, by your actions, as if it might just only be a dream. Sometimes you could never read Nathan’s emotions, he seemed to close himself off more than the average person. You knew why. You always stepped around words carefully, afraid of saying the truth because you could never pin down his reaction or how he felt. But now he was open to you, so you decided to take the risk. “You shouldn’t feel as though you have to hide from me. I care about you so much, more than you know. I’m sorry for hiding it I just… never would have thought you cared about me too.”

He edged closer to you, the distance between diminishing as he carefully pressed his lips against yours, testing the waters. You received it well and kissed him back as he leant in close. One of his hands rested on the couch behind you and the other gingerly on your neck. His fingers soft on your skin, your back pressed half into the couch and half into the carpet. You melted into each other, the desire to be this close having been built up for so long. You clung to his shirt when the kiss deepened and caught his eyes when you stopped, breathless from excitement.

“Shit,” he breathed, his face was still close to yours. “Is this… what…” He couldn’t finish his sentence, instead he kissed you again.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you both fell closer to the floor, your back pressed into the carpet of the dorm floor as he kissed you harder, kissed you more. His hips brushed against yours as your bodies touched, and the kiss deepened. Your hand ran through his hair as Nathan’s hand touched your lower waist, as if needing to pull you even closer to him.

His hair was damp in your fingers and droplets of water fell from his face, you were both cold and hot and the same time. You shivered, and goosebumps spread across your arms, tiny hairs raising, and you weren’t sure if it was because of the cold or because of Nathan.

“Nathan,” you whispered in the dark, looking up at his face. His hair was messier, instead of the usual pulled-back style, it was all over the place, and his eyes were alight, especially as you said his name.

“Ye-yeah?” He faltered, suddenly worried if he had done something wrong.

“Just…” your voice was quiet, and you weren’t really sure why you had said his name in the first place. You stared up at him, his features softer and gentler than you’re used to. You touched the side of his face, your thumb rested on his cheek. He watched you curiously, never used to a gentle intimacy like yours.

You held his face as you kissed him again, softly and slowly, you held your lips there. He looked at you different than before when you pulled away, but it wasn’t an off look or an embarrassed look, it was something close to awe.

He settled himself beside you, lying next to you on his side. You turned to him too and he was content to just look at you. He felt a little unsure, hoping that you were all okay with this, but when you kissed him like that just before it all fizzled away and all he felt was safe and… loved. A feeling that was almost foreign to him.

“D-do you…” he licked his lips nervously, “you want to stay?”

You nodded.

Nathan got up from the carpet and tried his best to tidy his bed. He nervously pulled at the sheets and ditched dirty laundry into the overflowing basket. “I’ll sleep on the couch, you can take the bed.”

“Sorry to kick you off your bed…” you said gingerly, getting up from the floor.

His look softened as he threw a couple of cushions and an extra blanket onto the couch, “It’s fine.”

You walked towards his bed, walking by his chair tucked into the desk where you hung your clothes, and your foot kicks something across the carpet. You glanced down at the fallen object and blinked, surprised. You picked the thing up in disbelief and Nathan glanced at you from the couch.

“What’s that?”

You turned to him and held the USB up in your hand, so he could see.

He blinked, too, and then shook his head as he smiled, “It was in your back pocket all along?”

You grinned sheepishly, “Must have been…” you glanced at your jeans hung over his chair, “I completely forgot I put it in there.”

“Of course,” he teased, “but if you hadn’t, we wouldn’t have argued with each other.”

You shook your head and leaned your face into your hand out of embarrassment, “Sorry…”

He only smiled, it was small and gentle and secret. A secret smile only for you. You knew what he meant by it.

You threw the USB to him and he caught it, and then you settled yourself into Nathan’s bed. You were immediately engulfed in the Nathan Smell and it was comforting. His bed was soft and comfortable, and you felt secure in his dorm.

“Night, Y/N.”

You turned to him in the dark, “Night.” You closed your eyes and listened to the quiet patter of the rain as you fell asleep.

 


	2. Chapter 2

There was a loud crash of thunder as lightning cracked through the deep blue sky. You sat up in Nathan’s bed immediately at the sound, your heart beating out of your chest. You breathed quickly to calm yourself but being in a different dorm room didn’t help. You realized your surroundings in seconds and Nathan broke your silent panic.

“Y/N?”

You turned to him and was surprised to see him beside your bed instead of on the couch, his worried face reflected in the dark. You breathed a sigh of relief, “I…” You shook your head, “Hey.”

“Thunder?”

“Yeah,” you breathed. “Not much of a fan of loud noises in the dark.”

Another loud crash broke through the sky and you instinctively covered your ears with your hands and winced at the loud sound.

Nathan held his hands over yours and took them away from your ears, slowly, as you hesitated to let him. Lightning flashed through the room and you anticipated the next bout of thunder. It came within seconds and it was louder than ever, and you jumped, and as a reflex covered your ears again.

“Are you going to be able to sleep?”

You shook your head.

He glanced to his dorm window, the curtains covering the glass, and he waited for another flash of lightning.

You didn’t want to wait for it, you were nervous as it was, and the loud noise only made it worse, so you opened the covers of the bed as an invite.

He turned to you and the rustle of the blankets and movement, and he blinked when he realized what you were asking. But he didn’t hesitate, and he climbed into his bed beside you, the mattress dipped with his weight.

The thunder crashed again but you felt a little better cuddled up to Nathan. Days ago, you would never have pictured this kind of thing to happen, but being exhausted after the rainy photoshoot and almost emotional breakdown, and having shared something with Nathan, it was as if you two just entered a whole new kind of relationship where things like holding each other in the middle of the night while rain and thunder crashed around you was normal. You fitted together naturally, almost, although the beating of your heart did grow a little faster. And you could tell his did too.

He wrapped his arms around you, slowly, as if hesitant to at first. You leaned into his chest and could smell the Nathan Smell more profoundly. It reminded you of those times you saw Nathan across the courtyard or near the front entrance, when he was sitting on the grass alone, peaceful and content. It reminded you of the split seconds you spent wishing you could kiss him or feel his hand on yours or his arms around you, those times you spent wishing to know how it felt to  _know_ Nathan. To feel him. The sense of him.

You thought about the first time you met Nathan as you curled up against him. It was an awful first day at Blackwell. It was a chilly day, you were wrapped up in a couple of layers of clothing. You remembered pulling at the ends of your cream sweater sleeves nervously, especially when groups of seniors passed you by. You hadn’t many friends, you didn’t grow up in Arcadia Bay like Nathan, or most of the other students. You grew up in a few towns over, you’d always heard of Arcadia Bay and you had visited when you were four years old. You remembered the smell of the sea and all the fisherman. But that was all.

When you returned to Arcadia Bay for Blackwell, the sea-salt memories of the small fishermen town felt very far away. There were the rich and there were the poor, there were mean girls who scrutinized people who didn’t fit in, there were snide comments in the school hallways and screaming matches in the dorms. Footballers who ignored the uncool. It was the classic high school stereotypical drama that you had wished you’d escaped.

But then there was Nathan.

A wild mess of a boy. You of course heard the name in your first week at Blackwell, Prescott; it floated around the town like a bad omen. No one really liked the Prescotts but everyone was respectful, except for the off-handed comments here and there about how much of a bastard Sean Prescott was. With a rich father and well-respected man, you once thought Nathan would be something else. You were, of course, wrong.

The days before the first official school day of classes, you had seen the boy in his red bombers jacket side-eyeing teachers and cursing under his breath, rolling his eyes at students and smoking behind the dormitory buildings. He never said a word to you at first, but there were times you thought you caught him looking at from across the parking lot, or from across the English class you shared.

You thought, however, that you just imagined it. Because why would a lonely rich boy be looking at you?

It was an awful day. You were late to your first class. You didn’t have enough time to caffeinate yourself before class because you slept in and had to wait in line for the showers, so you were groggy and tired and not fully awake for introductions. You embarrassed yourself with your nervous chatter and hated that people could tell you were scared. The rest of the day basically went the same, you tried to learn peoples’ names but couldn’t. Everyone knew someone already and you didn’t.

You were walking through the front courtyard, the concrete paths and patches of grass and picnic tables. Skaters filled up the pathway towards the school property entrance stairs doing tricks and talking loudly. Some students littered the grassy areas and others rushed through to get home or get to their dorm.

There was, to your complete and utter surprise, a coffee van parked in the parking lot. You spotted it a mile away. You thanked your lucky stars, not knowing where on earth you could score a cup of coffee since you didn’t know Arcadia Bay well enough yet and made your way over to the van.

You ordered a coffee and donut, too, and as the thirty-year-old guy with a man-bun proceeded to make your order, you dropped your bag to the ground and started searching for your purse. It took only seconds to realise that you hadn’t brought your purse. And it made sense, because, it was an awful day. The only way to top off an awful first day was to leave your money in your dorm room and make the person serving you angry for not bringing it.

“Shit,” you muttered, under your breath, and turned to look up at the guy.

He noticed your distress, “You cool?”

“I—I…” You started, bending upwards from your bag, flustered. You swallowed, “I’m so sorry, I must have forgotten my purse in my dorm…” You floundered, you didn’t know what to do. You could run for your purse, but you didn’t want to make the man annoyed with you.

He rolled his eyes at you, “Hey, I don’t have time for some student to pull this bullshit on me—”

You blinked but before you could open your mouth to say anything, another voice interrupted your conversation.

“Here,” an arm passed beside you, a fist opened and dropped some cash into the man’s hand. “That should cover it. And I want an iced latte.”

You turned at the voice and the movement, and saw the sharp, hard features of  _him._ Of Nathan Prescott. His tensed jaw, blue eyes and golden-brown hair. You blinked, and as he stepped back from the counter, he caught your eyes with his, and held his stare. Was he daring you to keep looking at him? You couldn’t tell.

“I… Thanks.” You took your coffee and donut, “I can go get some money to repay you—”

He shook his head, his pulled back hair loosened, and a couple of curls fell over his forehead, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?”

He looked at you, his eyes smiling as if he was amused. “It’s fine.”

You smiled at him and it threw him off, only just a little. You could tell by how he averted his eyes and glanced at his feet. He looked back up at the man-bun guy in his coffee van and watched him make the iced latte, “What’s your name?” He turned to look at you, his features softer than the usual Prescott guard he kept up.

“Y/N.”

“Nathan.”

“I know…” You licked your lips quickly, “I mean, I’ve… heard about you, I guess.”

“Good.” He reached for his coffee and you smirked at his smugness, “You do any photoshoots by any chance?”

That was the day you met him. You smiled all the way back to your dorm afterwards, at the strange Prescott boy who was both quiet but confident. And now, after a year and a bit of photos and moments and almost kisses… you were there beside him, his arms around you, his steady breathing filling the room and calming you, drowning out the thunder and the rain.

Who would have known this mess of a boy, so raging and wild could ever bring you peace and safety and comfort? And love.


End file.
